Seems pretty good.
A solid effort. animation is pretty good. Smooth at least. Interesting settings and decent music choice. However. The voice acting killed it for me. Please get a better mic and actual voice actors to do the characters voices. I'm not trying to be offensive here cause I'm sure you worked hard on this, but the voice acting quality currently in this animation makes me want to cry. If you can't find anyone to voice act (which you can, its not that hard, I myself can do voice acting) just run over the lines a few times and try and say them naturally as though you were the person in the animation, don't try to be that character just be that character. Again, not trying to be offensive, just trying to help.
-AvatarKami
(Kami the Avatar)